By Terry L. Brock

Recently, I received a daily email from someone I admire greatly. He has a best-selling book and has demonstrated lots of integrity in his message and life. He related the story of how he had recently received a letter from the lawyer of a firm he mentioned in his best-selling book. Most firms would be grateful to be positively mentioned in a best-selling book. However, this firm took a different approach.

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The lawyer letter was robot-like (as lawyer letters are prone to be), cold and demanding. It stated that the author is responsible for too many people contacting this lawyer’s client and asking about their services (Can you believe that?). I went to the website of the firm which was recommended by the best-selling author and the words seemed really nice. They had a nice phrase (even with the SM — Service Mark symbol!) on their home page about how they help customers. This seems like a classic case of “Words = Nice; Reality = They don’t really practice this.”

Being successful in Relationship Marketing means you have to be genuine to the core. You know what I’m talking about. The ad on TV says the firm “really cares for you.” When you go there you’re treated like dirt and abused. The disconnect is painful.

Many firms demonstrate a lack of plain old-fashioned graciousness, even though their marketing ad copy says, “we really care about you.” It is easy to become cynical today. At a time when business is tougher, being kind seems to be the bare minimum as a requirement for success. I wonder how this so-called “marketing firm” treats paying customers once they have their money. That “We really care about you” trite phrase evaporates in reality when it isn’t real and is only a thin veneer covering the ugly attitude underneath. Watch how politicians react after the election in the January – June timeframe when they are not up for re-election. Many people will be shocked (how about that!) that politicians say one thing to get elected but demonstrate a completely different attitude once secure in office.

Relationship marketing has to be based on being genuine or, like a house of cards, it crumbles under a strong wind. Witness the problems with the financial system in the US and you’ll see that if a system is not based on sound principles this nasty thing called reality will force it to crumble.

So, how can you “become genuine?” How can you communicate the importance of being “real” to your associates, your customers, your suppliers and elsewhere?

It starts with an attitude of trying to help others. See issues from their point of view. Too much of our society has grown callous and uncivil in tone. Vehement arguing and yelling are not appropriate in civil interchange.

You can tell a lot about a person in the way they treat wait staff at a restaurant. I recently had breakfast with a well-known celebrity who was speaking at the same conference with me. We got together to catch up and chat. I found it very revealing that this celebrity treated the server in a very disrespectful way deriding him because one minor request (out of several blurted out initially) was omitted. Then, this celebrity bragged to another person how he was able to “set straight” this poor, hard-working server. Yet, when the celebrity is on TV, he is all smiles and niceness. People who only see him on TV think he is “kind and caring.”

The day before yesterday I met someone at a social dinner. She related that she had had the opportunity through her job to interview two past Presidents of the US. One treated her graciously, asked about her, asked her to meet the members of his family and even let her use his wife’s golf clubs. The other past President delayed her and others, was rude, his voice was abrupt and he was very demanding. I’m purposely not mentioning who these past Presidents were because in a hot political season people would claim it is politically motivated.

This is not political. This is about basic human decency and treating people with care and respect — whoever they are and whatever position they have. My personal belief is that if someone is working and trying to make an honest living, they deserve respect. They have to demonstrate deficiencies before I think less of them.

As you adopt an attitude of wanting to help others in a genuine, real way, it permeates to your business. It becomes a part of who you are at the core and this reflects on the bottom line. We’ve lost a lot of that genuine care in our society today. Perhaps a slow-down is a good time to stop, examine how you treat others —- particularly those who are serving you — and ask about how much genuine care is being communicated.

Relationship Marketing is about kindness. Yes, this is simple but it is not always easy. Take time to think about how others are being treated. No, you don’t let people walk all over you, but a tough-minded attitude of kindness initially towards all is good training for real bottom-line business.

There’s an old saying on the street. I’ll clean it up a bit since this is a family publication. “Money talks. Other stuff walks.” Cling to what is real. Treating people with kindness and integrity is the right thing to do. It also improves the bottom line in business.

Terry Brock is an international marketing coach and professional speaker who helps businesses market more effectively, leveraging technology. He shows busy professionals how to squeeze more out of their days using time-honored rules and practical technology tools. He can be reached at 407-363-0505, by e-mail at terry@terrybrock.com or through his website at www.terrybrock.com.
Does Being Nice Equal Good Business?